This is your brain unplugged.

As we reach the end of the year, I'm beginning to think about how much if anything has changed since the end of last year. Physically, probably not much. However, my attitude is different, at least a little bit. I think I've become a little bit more accepting of who I am and what my body is. So in that way I'm definitely healthier. I have also totally cut out artificial sweetener and soft drinks. The only thing I have any more that qualifies as pop is club soda and that's occasionally. It is now basically water and tea for me with a glass of milk from time-to-time.

As for eating, in our house we now eat much more local food than we did in the past and I made it to the farmer's market almost every weekend of the season, except when I was out of town. I tried new vegetables. I found a local source of flour and bake almost exclusively (when possible) with at least half whole wheat flour. I've learned some ways to cut out the yicky processed white sugar and bake often with local honey. I hope and plan to be able to ride my bike to work when the weather turns back around. I really do think about what veggies I can include in my meals. I ate spaghetti squash for the first time. My pumpkin pies this thanksgiving were baked almost exclusively with pumpkin I roasted myself.

I'm still working on being a better eater. But I definitely try more things than I used to (including fish and mussels this year!) I still have a weakness for anything sweet. I also am still looking for physical activities that I enjoy doing. However, I am now a homeowner with my own little plot of land and next spring I will have gardening a plenty.

I am also still working on making time to keep myself in a good headspace with mediation or some other form of mental relaxation. I did keep it going for quite some time, but still struggle. Dustin and I have given up tv for the month of December because we found ourselves relying on it too much for entertainment to the detriment of other things (housework, this blog!, reading, baking, cooking). I've found it incredibly difficult so far. But I would guess by the end of the month, the new year will have us thinking about how much time we really do spend/waste in front of the tv.

Happy Holidays to you and yours and I would imagine that the lack of tv this month will have me back sooner rather than later.

Guilt!

Oh people out there in blogger land! Has it really been since July 10!?! I can't believe that. This summer has just flown by. I have really enjoyed it and especially making it to the farmer's market almost every weekend. I've even learned to roast an eggplant! Alas, it's been a very tough month for me personally in ways I'd prefer not to share with the big wide internet world. (see also dooce).

I have really struggled to stay healthy this last month and I know that I need to share that with you all too, not just when I'm feeling great and staying on track. But I do feel a certain amount of guilt about it. My birthday definitely helped pack on the pounds but due to some restraint the past weeks, I'm finally regaining control. Realizing that I can be centered and focused in a storm and not want to eat ice cream all the time is a big step for me. I've also been taking walks as a way to destress at the end of the work day and leave work at work.

I am also working on some ways to integrate this healthy lifestyle into my life in a more streamlined way. Stay tuned. I hope!

Dinner!

After a weekend of partying for the 4th and my mom's surprise birthday party, I came back this weekend committed to being healthier. Especially since Sunday I just felt awful from eating awful things. And really, I don't enjoy junk food much anymore (except for sweets, and even that is lessening as I don't want to deal with the aftermath). I did a lot of baking last week and hopefully I'll get an update up about that soon, but in the meantime, back to the health update.

Yesterday I did very well, I had a great healthy lunch a salad with spinach and romaine (not local, sorry, the local lettuce was very bitter to me last time) with feta and almonds dressed with lemon juice and olive oil. For protein I had a grass-fed beef bratwurst. Yummy, though not in the traditional bratwurst way. Dinner was stir fry with zucchini, summer squash (both from the CSA), chicken, the last of the peas from the CSA, green onions (local!) and brown rice. Oh, and homemade egg rolls (from the freezer which I had made to use up the last of my bok choy). Breakfast is always pretty healthy for me.

Today I still did pretty well. Lunch was a frozen dinner, but from "ethnic gourmet" it was chicken tikka masala and pretty tasty. Though I was hungry by 1 and ended up with some Kashi dark chocolate and oatmeal cookies (and a bite of my co-worker's brownies with cream cheese icing). Dinner today definitely took the cake and is the whole reason I'm writing this entry. It was half local ingredients and had I been able to get to the Worthington Farmer's market last weekend, could have been all local ingredients. I made beer battered pork chops (with green onions and mushrooms) with roasted rosemary potatoes and roasted green beans. So yummy. And so colorful I had to take a picture beforehand.

Pictured are the potatoes from the farmer's market and purchased from a lovely little amish girl. They're heirloom. Rosemary from my garden (0 miles), green beans from my CSA (50 miles), Rainier cherries that I got a steal on at the grocery store and are wonderfully tasty (too many miles), and shredded zucchini that went into zucchini bread (more about that on the baking post) from my CSA (50 miles).

Here's what dinner looked like cooking:
This is pork chops and mushrooms (from the grocery store), green onions (farmer's market), thyme (from my porch, 0 miles) and beer (leftover from a party, made in San Fransisco). This is adapted from a recipe originally from www.savingdinner.com.

And last but not least, the potatoes that were so good my husband didn't even put ketchup on them. I simply sliced them up, sprayed with olive oil and sprinkled with garlic salt (nonlocal) and put rosemary on top. They were accompanied by roasted green beans which is a recipe from my Garden Fresh Vegetable Cookbook. These were also sprayed with olive oil (I suck at drizzling) and roasted at 425 degrees for approx 15 minutes and then sprinkled with salt when done. This wasn't my best batch because the beans were a little over grown, but still tasty. AND all of this was extremely healthy and pretty low cal. And it could have been all local except for the spices.

I feel proud that I whipped up a dinner that was healthy for me and (getting there) for the planet AND my husband proclaimed that it was a great dinner and he was full. Then I went and walked 2 miles with my friend Laura. Yay!

I've definitely noticed that I enjoy food I cook much more and that good vegetables just taste better and I don't mind eating them. If you told my family I bought cherries they'd probably be shocked. But they're tasty and make a great dessert.

Now, in the interest of being healthy it is time for me to meditate, read, and go to bed.

Where in the world have you been?

Well, I'm back. Hopefully. Thank you to those of you who inquired about my health. My ear infection seems to have cleared up and I'm working through the last couple of days of antibiotics and trying to kick this cough.

My goal as of late is to continue to be a healthy balanced person. Eating as little processed (or at least not processed by me) food as possible. June was a busy month and I did lots of yummy at least partially local eating and baking. I do hope to get up some recipe specific entries. I found a local source for flour and the farmer has whole wheat and spelt bread flour. He also said he grows soft wheat on a rotation, but I wasn't quite sure what that rotation is. I also have a local source for organic (though not certified) non-homogenized milk and butter. I haven't tried the butter yet. It's hard for me to go from paying $2/lb for butter to $4/lb. Especially since I've been baking a lot.

Yesterday, I did my third 5K of the year. I'm pretty proud of the results. This was my first outing where I was on my own for the whole race. My brother and I both did the race, but as he is an actual serious runner, we don't run together. I finished in just over 42 minutes, which sliced about 3 minutes off my time. The Garmin (the gps running gadget that gives me my time and pace) and my ipod really helped me keep my time in check. It seemed like my pace was always sub-15 min miles which is good for me. I know I'm not going to be winning any awards just yet, but this was a big victory for me. Plus I was about to run for about 3 minutes at a time which is also pretty great especially considering I've not done any training for this at all.

My friend Laura and I have been doing 3 mile walks together, but definitely not at any particular pace. And I'm still struggling with that last mile. Miles 1 and 2, no problem, mile 3, omigod, when is it going to be over? My brother's suggestion for that was to start doing longer walks so 3 doesn't feel like so long. I'll have to start walking another mile or so. I'm also hoping to be able to get a heart-rate monitor soon. I think it will help. I've also been meditating and doing breathing exercises some in hopes of helping the asthma. It did seem to help yesterday when even though it was humid, my lungs didn't feel like they were going to explode.

In other news, my husband and awesome mother-in-law (and mother-in-law's "best guy" as she calls him) have gotten me a new bike for my birthday. I'm very excited to be able to ride more often (my other bike has become uncomfortable and well, is 14 years old which my husband points out is a long time ago) and hopefully to be able to bike commute at least one day a week (the issue being that there's no where to shower once I get to work. So I have to do it on days I don't care so much about being a little sweaty at work. Luckily my office is very casual). Plus, I definitely want a basket so I can bike to the farmer's market and to the grocery store for those short trips. Oh and the library. I love biking to the library.

I'm now out of battery, but I hope to get some more posts up this week about all the baking I've been doing.

Ow.

I have an ear infection in both ears. It hurts. And apparently this isn't supposed to happen to anyone over the age of 6. Great. Obviously I am not feeling well and the lovely updates I have saved to polish will not make it up for a couple of days.

Just a quick message....work has been busy lately and I haven't been able to sit still at night (we've had a ton of stuff going on...including Dustin turning 30) and this coming week I'm helping out at a week long event at OSU. So I'll be back this coming weekend. I have drafts of stuff saved I just haven't had a chance to post.

oh my

So, last week, I said I was going to make cookies. So I made the cookies pictured here. They were awesome. They came from this book. However, in the stress of my in-laws coming to visit (I like my in-laws, but is there anyone who isn't stressed out by them coming?) I helped DH and the in-laws finish of the entire batch of probably 6 dozen cookies by Monday morning. It was not such a good weekend for the stress eating.

I'm mostly back on track and I love, love, love the lettuce and bok choy from the farmer's market. I had an awesome grilled chicken salad on Tuesday with the lettuce, bok choy and chicken we grilled on Saturday. Yummo!

California photos

I mentioned a few posts back that pictures my husband took of me in the dress that looked adorable in the dressing room were enough to keep me from eating. I thought I'd post one, because apparently I like to torture myself like that. Also, if you have a large chest, please don't buy an empire waisted dress....as dooce would say, be ye not so stupid.In my defense, it really looked more like this and less like I was pregnant.

more farmer's market fun

I think I'm getting into the farmer's market groove. This was week 2 of our (small, about 10 stands) farmer's market. This week from the CSA, more bok choy* and flowers, but also a small amount of broccoli and green onions. Yum. I also bought 1/2 dozen eggs from the egg people (www.2silos.com), lettuce, and some local honey. I was reading on a website that someone in MO had strawberries at their farmer's market. I'm jealous, I can't wait for the berries. I'm still splurging at the grocery for berries. I also bought some parsley to grow with the rest of my herbs.

I do have to say that I love the atmosphere of the local farmer's market, I get to ask questions, like which honey is best for my allergies, and can I get a half dozen eggs. Plus, it's way more fun than the supermarket. I just felt better being there.

With all this fabulous fresh produce, I've been doing pretty well with eating healthy although it continues to be stressful at work and a splurged for dinner Thursday night and yesterday for lunch and I had to open a bottle of wine last night. It just seemed like the thing to do on a Friday night for dinner after a long week.

Exercise too has been difficult. The weather turned very warm this week, and with my asthma, getting outside to exercise in the warm weather is difficult because of my breathing. I did make it to the gym but I'm trying to get on my bike more, because I just love biking and our bike path is shaded and pretty flat so it doesn't get too hot.

My in-laws are coming this weekend, so I'm making cookies. I've had a terrible urge to bake. Something about following directions and a concrete product soothes me. Plus, you get to eat the results. I'm making Oatmeal peanut butter chocolate chip cookies (I don't remember the exact name) from Baking: from my house to yours by Dorie Greenspan. I have yet to make anything from this book, though it's beautiful to look at. I love cookbooks. Plus the recipe that the Baklava Queen posted sounds fabulous. I might have to try it if I can get some lavender from my brother.

*Which last week I put in stir fry and came out pretty good. To me, it didn't taste like much, but I'll take veggies that don't taste like much that I put in something and they give me fabulous nutrients

The farmer's market

Today was the first day of my neighborhood farmer's market. Our CSA had emailed us to let us know that they thought they would only have flowers for us today, but when I got there, they also had bok choy for us. I've never had bok choy, so it will be a new adventure. The farmer recommended it in a salad or steamed. Since I've usually heard about it in stir fry or chinese food, I might have to make stir fry this week.

I also purchased some thyme, rosemary, and basil. I absolutely love the smell of basil. I think I would bathe myself in basil. Last summer I was obsessed with pesto sauce.

A quick survey of the market also had several other produce stands (still not a ton of produce yet, because it's early here in Ohio) and someone with eggs. I've been reading about fresh eggs and how they are supposed to be tastier than the stuff you get at the grocery. They had various varieties and I may have to try some different stuff.

I also tried Qdoba today for the first time. I love Chipotle, and allow an indulgence sometime for Chipotle since they so have quality ingredients and you can tell. Qdoba is new here, so I thought I would try it out. While tasty in that fast-foody way, I could tell it was not as quality as Chipotle who's guacamole haunts my dreams. I might try it again when I could eat in and have the cheese sauce which my friend says is the best part about Qdoba to him. So, that doesn't necessarily fit my mission, but at the same time, my mission is about balance. Which means the occasional indulgence.

May Flowers

Unfortunately, another chunk of time has gone by before I've gotten a chance to write again. I think this is mostly because I'm still just chugging along. Not much has changed. Well, until this last week, I feel like I finally made a breakthrough. I've been consistent in my exercising and have been getting outside more now that the weather is nicer and I continue to love pilates and what it's done for my core. As a person who carries weight around the middle, I'm finally seeing some relief from that.

It's also been hard for me to write when I have those bad days. Like last week when we came back from 4 days in California. We went out to Orange Co (south LA) for a wedding last week. It was a quick trip since I am low on vacation, having spent most of it on my honeymoon. I bought a dress that I loved at Ann Taylor for $40 (originally $150). A cute halter dress with an empire waist and A-line skirt. I looked cute in the dressing room. However, the pictures told a different story, at least to me. We got back from the trip and looked at the pictures my husband had taken of me. I looked like a cow. Worse, I looked like my chubby relative who shall remain nameless since this is a public blog. I lost it. I wanted to eat everything in the cabinet. What's worse is from the plane trip and eating out I had managed to gain back 4 lbs that I had worked to diligently to lose. Lesson 1: never get on the scale right after you get back from vacation and are PMSing. So, in the middle of losing it, I had the presence to mind to know that eating everything in the cabinet was not going to help. Deep breath. We do not eat because we're sad or any other emotion. So instead, I dragged my husband out for a bike ride and angrily pedaled and cried the entire way to the library to drop off books. Later, there was more crying, but not eating. Yay!

The day after that, all hell broke lose at work and I was stressed out. Again, I managed not to eat because I was upset; however the downside of this is that I was so upset that I couldn't eat. Not something I take pride in, but again, to try and sort out my feelings there was a long walk, a bike ride and healthy eating. It's more than a week later, and though the work stuff hasn't been resolved, I've fought the urge to eat because I'm upset, stressed, etc. I've maintained eating healthy and when I had an all day class that took me away from the office. I did not use it as an excuse to get a greasy burger or fast food. I brought my lunch. I had a salad for dinner the day I really wanted to just eat a bowl of the ice cream that was in the freezer. And because of that I can also say that whatever tiredness, etc that I'm feeling is due to something else, not how I've been eating. I feel less physical fatigue. As a happy bonus, I have also lost the 4lbs I was up coming back from vacation plus one additional. I have no doubt that one or 2 of those lbs was water retention from being on the plane, but it always feels great no matter how much I'd like it not to, when that number changes.

Just a note on some changes: as we head into summer, my brother and his wife have split at share in a farm with me and the hubby, so I'll be trying to think of new and inventive ways to eat and use the fresh veggies and fruit we'll be getting. I've also been doing a lot of reading about the 100 mile diet ( www.100milediet.org) so I hope to post updates about that and maybe some recipes as I try new things out.

reminders

It's absolutely beautiful here this weekend. Yesterday I went out for a spirit picking up walk. It was a tough week and I needed to get my head back on straight. It was good. Today we did almost 7 miles on our bikes (not very much to those who are serious) while riding around looking for houses for sale and open houses. But boy, did that kick my butt, it wasn't a very fast ride, but I'm tired nonetheless. But it definitely fits my mission of trying to work more exercise into my daily life.

bad blogger

Oh no. I am a very bad blogger. It's been well over a month since I last blogged here. I've been pretty busy the last month or so, but I think mostly that's because I've sort of been stuck. My weight has remained steady since my initial loss and I've been trucking along with exercise. A couple of things have happened, so here's the down and dirty update.

• I've now finished two 5K races. I did do the one on St. Patrick's day even though it was freezing cold and snowing, my sister-in-law and I walked it and I finished in just over 45:00. I did another one on April Fool's Day (which I just tried to type foo's day, which is sort of funny) which took me a little longer, but I'm working on the exercising outdoors thing. It's very different than the treadmill. Of course people tried to tell me this, but I also of course did not believe them.
• Other than a blip of a splurge around Easter, my weight has held steady, which is an accomplishment.
• I've held steady with pilates and continue to lose inches even though I have not lost pounds. I try and do go (most weeks) twice a week.
• When I told my friend Laura that I did a 5K and I was attempting to run, she too wanted to run and we're about at the same fitness level and she has agreed to run with me once a week for variety. Although she's had some personal life blips over the last 2 weeks, I think once that stuff has resolved itself, we'll be back to at least once a week if not more.
• I tried on a dress that was altered to fit me at 16. This was a bizarre experience. It fits me on the bottom almost as well as it did at 16. On the top, however, I was about 4-5 inches from being able to close it. Wow what a difference 10 years makes. Though the fitting on the bottom does make me feel a little bit better about my current status.
• My brother (and sister-in-law) and I (and Dustin) are splitting a CSA share. This means that a lovely southern Ohio farmer will bring us fresh, in-season produce once a week at the farmer's market. I'm excited about this and learning how to cook new veggies. I'm also attempting to grow some herbs from seed. I hope that next year I will be able to grow veggies in my backyard....When I have my own backyard.

I feel pretty good about where I'm at. I'm still trying to make strides at being a more active person and a healthier eater. I had a great conversation with my friend Anna this weekend about exercise and really trying to be a whole person. It helped a lot to hear that other people struggle with the same things I do especially about eating. No, I can't have egg rolls and fried food and expect to lose weight, but making movement part of my life is doable. When it's nice out, I at the very least try to take a walk, I'm enjoying being outside more and I'm looking forward to maybe biking more often too (I really need a basket for my bike if I want to run errands on my bike and my bike is about 13 years old and not so comfy for me any more).

So yay, today I feel like I'm on an up note about all of this. AND I'm very proud to have talked myself out of eating an egg roll this afternoon when I really wanted one. Despite the fact that I was not able to get any one on the phone to distract me.

It was a very nice day today weather-wise; it was about as good as you can ask for from Ohio in March. It was sunny and almost 60. To take advantage of the weather and get rid a little of my spring fever, after work I went out for a walk/run. I also wanted to see how close I could get to running since I'm supposed to be doing a 5K next weekend (It looks like I'll be doing it, but I'll be speed walking it with my sister-in-law. She and I are both in need of support for our first go round). Wow is running outside totally different from running on a treadmill. What seems ridiculously slow running outside had me winded in no time. I did do 5500 steps which according to the pedometer is approximately 3 miles. So, distance not a problem, the speed at which I do the distance is a problem. Not sure where to go from here. I guess I need to read some more about running outside.

Things I never thought I'd be able to do...

I totally had an "Omigod I did not just do that" moment in pilates tonight. The good kind. The kind where you manage to do a move you never ever thought you'd be able to do.

Backstory: my regular pilates teacher had been off last time I had been to class, and I took last Saturday off from class, so it'd been a little while since I'd attempted what she calls the "rollover prep". This is basically where you lay on your back with your legs straight up in the air and attempt to bring your feet toward your head --like you would do a plow in yoga. I typically had only been able to lift my hips a few inches off the ground.

So she queued us into the move....imprint, table top, legs up, lift.....and omigod, my legs were at my face! I did not just do that! You're kidding me! And I was able to roll back down with control! This is amazing! I was also able to keep my legs straight up for the entire hundreds sequence for the first time. I actually think this has been helped by doing squats, I'd been struggling with this not because of my ab strength, but because it was difficult to keep my legs together.

Needless to say that it helped my motivation tremendously. I'm definitely gaining strength and continue to lose inches.

March Goals

I'm sticking with this. :) Last month was a struggle, but last week, things eased up. Somehow I felt guilty about wanting to weigh less. Yes, I know it's healthy for me, but somehow I had resistance to it. This week, that seemed to relax. It's ok to want my body to be healthy and be smaller. For some reason it also seems more realistic. Probably because I've stuck with it this long and continue to feel proud about the goals I've accomplished. So.....for March (yes, I know it's already started):

• Exercise 18-23 times in March for 45-50 minutes. I'd also like to get my cardio minutes up, but I think that will come with the weather getting better, I'll be more able to walk outside.
• I'll be doing the 30 day plan again for at least the first 2 weeks of the month to get my eating back on track. This seems to be the hardest part for me, but eating fish and veggie food was a step in the right direction for me.
• Since it's Lent, no meat on Fridays for me and I also gave up red meat. I'm actually enjoying it this year, it's caused me to be more creative about what I'm eating (I wish papa johns would stop running the 3 kinds of sausage pizza, it looks sooo good). I appreciate that it's asking me to be more flexible. It's also meant I found a great recipe for low fat mac n' cheese (with spinach and green onions).

yay march. I feel like I'm finally on my way!

February Report

February has been a busy month. It's also been a little bit of a struggle for me. I've been so busy and the energy had been a little low. I didn't really feel the motivation to exercise. However I did accomplish the following:

• I did barely squeak by to my exercise goal. I exercised 16 times in February for an average of 58 minutes. The average time is down from last month, but considering where my motivation level was this month, I'm glad I pushed through. Besides the time goal was 40 minutes average, so I still beat that.
• eating....I'm not sure what to say here. It was probably a mediocre. I didn't eat horribly, but it wasn't fabulous. I did however actually eat fish this month. Anyone in my family who reads this will probably drop over dead reading that. I also actually enjoyed it. I'll still a little skeptical, but I'm working on that. I also ate a vegetarian meal and enjoyed it. So eating was pretty much a wash.
• I did 495 minutes of strength training (including pilates) and 448 minutes of cardio. This is not as uneven as I thought it would be, but I think I need to work on getting in some more cardio minutes as this probably resulted in....
• ...My weight remained steady. I was up and down with in a 3 lb range. I didn't lose any weight, but I maintained, which is pretty good for me. This is also impressive as I ate an entire box of Trefoils cookies in 3 days.
  
• I'm also very proud of the fact that I managed to do my first running without stopping workout this month. I did another one this week. I had to stop briefly for about a minute in the middle because I had an awful stitch in my side. But it's also taking about 10 minutes of running before I even break a sweat. I also came very close to breaking the 4 mph average. I also got to 2.32 miles in 30 minutes which is much better. I'm not sure I'm going to run the 5K on St. Pat's Day, I'm not sure I'm ready. I only have 2 more weeks to get in another whole mile. I'm not sure my cardio endurance is there yet.

In what seemed like a month of downs, I feel like I did pretty well and I'm also very proud that I stuck with it. Onto month three....

I'm Jack's festering boredom

Well, thus far February has not been a stellar month, diet and exercise wise. It looks like I *might* just make my exercise goals and I'm trying not to allow myself the excuse of February being a short month. I flopped somewhere in the middle of the month. I went 4 days without exercising for no particular reason except that I didn't want to. My diet hasn't been awful, probably short on fruits and veggies but not overly awful. I've maintained my weight with in a 3 lb range. I've not even really eaten junk for lunch. However, I ate out way too much and ate way too much sugar. I suppose this is about finding the happy medium, but I"m not really in a happy medium place right now.

I finally understand....

As a warm up for the work writing I need to do while I'm stranded at home in the snow today, I thought I'd update. It's cliche, but it's been too long. Things have been going fairly well. The number on the scale has stalled and I've crashed on the eating front, but have been slowly steering myself back on track and I've also stuck with the exercise. I'm very proud that I finished my first full 20 minute run yesterday without stopping. It was very good. go me. 1.9 miles. I feel very accomplished, if you ever told me I'd even come close to running 2 miles I would have called you crazy. But I did it and only marginally wanted to die at the end of it.

However, I now know why people toss their cookies when they finish a run or in the middle of a run. Last Thursday and last night before I ran I clearly had too much for dinner. Thursday was the worst, I was nearly doubled over in pain from the stomach cramps. Clearly, a burrito (even a homemade small burrito) was not the best choice before working out. I thought I was going to die. Last night when I was done I just thought I was going to throw up. I thought I had eaten a small enough dinner last night. I guess I need to try again. I'm usually fine on Saturday mornings when I run before pilates, I have just oatmeal or 1 toaster waffle and a couple of breakfast sausage.

It's both good and bad that I'm totally feeling the effects of what I'm eating. I know when I've had too much sugar by the fact that I drag all day or just feel like I have no energy. There's a world of difference when I'm eating well and healthy. I have more energy, I need less sleep and the exercise is easier. It's just been difficult for me to get back on the wagon after crashing. I know I need to, it's just better.

In other news, I updated my workout play list and that has helped keep me motivated to keep running. I'd definitely love suggestions for great upbeat songs to add, as I seem to be stuck in a music rut. Current favorites on the list are:

-Mr. Brightside and Somebody Told Me, The Killers
-Copa de la Vida, Ricky Martin
-Don't Stop Thinking about Tomorrow, Fleetwood Mac
-Shoebox, BNL
-Maria, Blondie

I need something with a fairly fast, consistent beat. It helps me feel more like I'm dancing than running. I'm totally that person on the treadmill lipsyncing along to my music. There are days where I feel like Phoebe from that episode of Friends where she does the crazy running through Central Park. I think I need a shirt to run in that says on the back "I'd rather be dancing."

Even with minor set backs on the eating front, I feel like I'm working toward my goal of being healthier. I feel like I have a pretty good picture of what that feels like as far as exercise and eating. Even if the number isn't moving, my body really is reshaping. Other than a few very stressful days last week, I've not put off going to the gym and have really begun to enjoy my pilates classes. I also get annoyed when all the treadmills are full and I have to do something else besides running. Sticking with all of it is a little harder, but I think it will come with time as I enjoy feeling better as I eat better and exercise.

February Goals

So, since I continue to feel pretty good and notice I feel icky when I don't stick with my good habits, my February goals will be as follows.

• Add an additional day to my days of exercise. Making that over 4 weeks 16-21 days of exercise.
• Add 10 minutes to my total time, so the workout time is 40 minutes. I'm very close to this already, but I definitely need to do more cardio. I also want to start tracking how I'm splitting my time cardio vs. strength training. Once I know where I'm at with that, I can set a goal for that in March.
• Continue eating healthy. Which means continuing to make healthy choices while eating out, and following the general healthy eating plan at home and during lunch (lots of fruits and veggies, lean protein, and whole grains when I eat carbs) and staying away from sugar in general (I definitely get the sugar sleepies anymore and it's almost too sweet for me as well).

I've actually gotten to the point where I may not enjoy all of this all the time, but I definitely feel better for making healthy choices. I just need to remind myself this when the devil plops itself on my shoulder and says "eat it, you know you want to" or "you don't *need* to exercise today." I did well with a Light Turkey sub today with a work lunch, it was the right amount and was still tasty and the pasta salad and cookie definitely made me sleepy.

End (almost) of January summary

My husband has been on me for not updating. Unfortunately I've been buried in a federal grant which left me not wanting to write much. All I've wanted at the end of the day is to come home and watch tv or read. The grant is done and in the mail now so, I am much in need of updating. I have some very excellent things to report for January.

• Most importantly, I exercised 17 times in January, which is the top end of my range, which is very good, especially considering how busy I've been this month. Also, I said that would be 30 minutes at a session, and my average was 61 minutes.

• I stuck with the 30 day plan completely.

• I only had fast food once the entire month, one chinese meal. I had chinese once, and I spent all day eating the meal and felt awful. I'm not likely to eat it again, at least the fast food kind.

• I've definitely gained strength. I did some ab exercises with the medicine ball that I used to do. I used to only be able to do 2 sets of 15, I was able to do 3 sets of 20 today and could definitely have kept going. Pilates has definitely helped with my core strength and I feel like I could hold a downward dog for ages now.

• I've definitely gained cardio endurance. I've gone from doing my run at an average of 3.33 mph to 3.97 mph. Today during my run I beat my previous time for 2 miles by 3 minutes (sadly this is now 27 minutes, but going down). I also never spiked a heartbeat over 165 during the regular run and never spiked a heartbeat over 180 (like I used to) after my sprint at the end of the run. Today was the first time I actually feel like a 5K is a doable thing for me in less than an hour. I still have a long way to go, but I have a whole month and a half to pick up speed and endurance.
  

• My pants fit again and I've lost 9 lbs, and am darn near having lost 10. This is of course not the focus, and a nice side effect. I really just happy with the transformation my body has made, much stronger and I feel like more flexible.

All in all I'm very proud of my performance and feel pretty great. Pretty good way to go into February.

quick update

I'm doing pretty well. I've really felt pretty great and other than an intense salt craving I've been eating pretty well. I just checked in on my fitness log and I'm at 10 times for the month already, it looks as if I should easily hit my goal of 12-17 times, but I'm aiming for the upper limit of that. I have also noticed that the smaller quantities of food seem natural. Someone at work mentioned that they were having a salad, some spaghetti, strawberries, orange and a banana and I about fell over saying "That's a lot of food."

Weekend report

It's the last day of my long weekend and as always it still feels like I could use another. It was a pretty eventful weekend though.

Friday and Saturday we went up to see our parents. Dustin's mom was having surgery and so we spent all day (12 noon to 9 pm) at the hospital from pre-op to post op with her. She's fine and the surgery went well, but with many hours on end with nothing to do, I came to a couple of interesting thoughts happened. 1). I was bored and anxious and boy did I want to chow down on some junk food. But with the help of my fabulous husband, I stuck it out and only had the snacks we packed and then a moderate dinner in the hospital cafeteria (a wrap and some macaroni salad, then I splurged on some baked doritos and vanilla pudding). I don't think I wanted to eat out of boredom, but more out of the anxiousness. 2). The doctor repeatedly told my mother-in-law, who is in fantastic shape for a nearly 60 year old (she weighs less than I do), how great it was to work on a thin, healthy patient and that her insides were much younger than her age. This served as a great motivator for me to get my butt in gear and be healthier.

Saturday morning I went with my mom to yoga class and totally got my butt kicked. It was a reminder of how far I have yet to go on being stronger and more flexible. I felt pretty great afterward and it also prodded me that soon I should start going to yoga again, because I really do love how much energy I have afterward and how great it feels to have flexible hips. We went out to dinner Saturday night when we got home, and though I splurged for the chicken parm I was very good and had a salad before hand and made sure to only eat half.

Sunday was a bit of a struggle, I've been fighting back the munchie urges including one for humus which I gave into since it's not bad for me. I stuck with my healthy eating all day and turned down the blueberry bake (if only all baked goods came with blueberries, I'd probably never eat them again, I'm not that much of a fan). We had friends over last night so I could make large amounts of food and feed it to someone besides me and Dustin. I baked my own egg rolls, which I thought tasted pretty good, and made a thai-type soup with beef. It was great, healthy and it kept me from eating unhealthy stuff to satisfy my urge for Chinese food. The only bad part was the lime bars one of our guests brought. They were absolutely fabulous. I had 4 :) But, I feel like that was an ok splurge. The point of this is not to give up sugar for good, but to be healthier. 4 teeny lime squares (they were probably each only 1 inch square) is way better than a whole dessert at a restaurant. Plus....

Today I finally got back on the running horse. I really do want to do that 5K on St. Patty's day so I had to see how long it would take me to do 3 miles. Sadly, about 1 hr. I know that's slow, but I made it through the whole hour and I looked like a beet. (It's a constant embarrassment to me that I get bright red and sweat a lot when I do cardio). I can do it. I know I can finish the race now which adds a little bit of confidence, now I just have to keep working up on the amount of time I can run. My recovery times were pretty good until the last 20 minutes or so. I was able to keep my walk pace up higher than it had been. But, the draw back was, I was at 3.8 mph for approximately the last 20 minutes and couldn't get my heart rate below 150.

The frustrating part is I have to remember this is a process. I do generally feel pretty great, my clothes look much better and fit again. This is what I want. I want to feel good in my skin and be healthy. I'm getting there. But I might have to make my own pita chips this week. :)

oooh stretchy

I just came back from pilates class and I have to say that I continue to enjoy pilates. I feel great after class and I don't have to sweat. I also enjoy the concentration it takes to do each move and making sure that my body is in alignment. I think this is why I loved my ballet class in college and why I like my ballroom dance class now. I like it when there's a "right" way to do things and I have time to focus on form. I may not be as good at rhythm as my husband, but I usually know when something feels wrong.

Eating continues to go well too. I feel accomplished that last night while watching tv Dustin was oohing and ahhing over all the fast food commercials and I was so not interested. Right now all I have a craving for is Chinese food and I'm going to attempt to make my own healthy version on Sunday. I've had some sweet cravings, but keeping mandarin oranges around seems to be keeping those at bay.

Boring update, but things are going well and I've lost another lb. I'm officially down 6 now to 177. Go me. But once again, I'm sticking with this because I feel great, have more energy and I'm not waking up tired in the morning.

Excuses, excuses

This is just a quick update before I leave for work. It's been a busy couple of days and I've spent lots of time on the computer at work, so the last thing I want to do when I get home is spend more time on the computer. I'm back on track eating wise after my migraine (I'm finally not starving all the time) and the eating well is starting to come naturally to me. Next week I start eating lunches again instead of meal replacement bars and I think that will start to get tricky.

I didn't go to the gym last night like I should have. I left work late and I was tired and I knew Dustin would be hungry and blah blah blah. So I didn't make it. But I still worked out at home, I took out one of my balance ball videos and did that. So far, I'm pretty on track. I need to get on track to do that 5K on St. Patty's day, maybe I should be more worried but I'm not.

ugh

Well, I capped off a week of being really healthy with my first migraine in something like 6 years. Man, I'd forgotten how hella bad and awful they are. And scary. Nothing like your left hand and left side of your face going numb in church. I'm pretty sure this one was kicked off by the incense at church but I'm concerned because I had some precursors last week. At least they make medicine that actually works for this stuff now, even though I don't currently have any. Anyway, hopefully I'll be feeling lots better tomorrow.

already?

There's nothing like a shopping trip to make my enthusiasm flag. After a frustrating trip to exchange some Christmas booty where nothing seemed to fit me quite right and there was the ever present pudge, I'm left feeling like what's the point? I never seem to get anywhere. Also, I really wanted to eat all of my grilled chicken wrap at BWW. But I stuck it out and only ate half and a small amount of the chips (that I definitely wanted to eat all of).

This might be a new record for me, 5 days in and the motivation is going. I'm going to stick with it though, because at the end of the month if I make my goal is some new clothing and looking way better in my current clothing. Oh, and I continue to get compliments on my skin looking good.

Reminder

My brother forwarded me an email today. This was the last paragraph:

"Just remember weight loss is not linear. You may lose five pounds on the scale the first week, but that may be water weight as your body adjusts fluid levels. You may have some weeks where you don’t register any weight loss--that’s just the way the body works. Keep your long-term goal in mind, focus on your lifestyle, and before you know it, you’ll achieve the weight you’ve always wanted."

It was the reminder I needed. I'm very pleased that my pants are comfortable again. But this is about being healthy.

Today's status: healthy eating: check; exercise: check

The fight continues...

I've done pretty well the past couple of days and really haven't had any urge to cheat. I've been down with the fruits and veggies and I lost 5 lbs in the first 2 days. That is a huge motivator. Also, the mini-cleanse seems to have cleared up my awful breakout. Those two things combined are enough to make me continue. Dinner tonight was yummy. My salad tasted great (the asparagus were not so great, but I think that's because it wasn't a good batch).

So I'm rocking on with my bad self. I'm also going to make my tired self exercise at 7. I haven't been sleeping well for some reason which has caused a bit of fatigue, but I figured the exercise will help the sleep issue.

Excuse me, where's the ladies room?

So, it's January 2nd and I'm doing pretty well. I started the 30-day plan yesterday, which the first 2 days is called a mini-cleanse. The mini-cleanse consists of drinking meal replacement shakes every 2 hours for 2 days and a glass of water on the opposite hours. It's a heck of a lot of liquid and the first day is hard, but I generally wake up the second day feeling great. This held true for me. I felt great today. I had more energy and I generally felt like that icky holiday food was out of my system. Plus, as a bonus, I'd lost 3lbs.

Now, I know that I said weight loss was not the general goal of this whole thing, but boy is it nice to have already dropped 3lbs. But I also feel great! And for once in my life I'm craving healthy things. All I want right now is an avocado and some sauerkraut. Both of which aren't that bad for me. Oh and are veggies which is impressive for the green food skeptic that I am.

So, while I was detoxing yesterday I was watching PBS. There was this great show on by Barbara Watson call the H.O.P.E. plan for digestive health (see, we're back to the healthy goal now). She's a Naturopath (or however you spell it, a doctor that specializes in natural cures) and the show is all about how eating is directly related to most health problems including asthma. I have been looking for nutritional suggestions for dealing with asthma, so I watched. The basic idea is a 4 point plan 1) High fiber, 35 grams of fiber a day; 2) Omega-3s; 3) Probiotics; 4) Digestive Enzymes.

The program explains why these things work, but the good news is I was already on my way to a couple of those. I take acidophilous and digestive enzymes as part of the 30 day plan and I've already been sneaking flax seed meal in whatever I feel like I won't notice it in (scrambled eggs, yogurt, applesauce, anything saucy really). I guess that means I'm on the right track, and hopefully with increased good eating this will bear out her plan.

I've been doing lots of research about healthy ways to eat and what it means to be healthy. It seems like a lot of these plans say different things, but the bottom line is this: 1.) eat lots of fruits and veggies; 2.) eat lean protein, especially fish (ew, I still struggle with this one) and stay away from lots of red meat; 3.) Stay away from processed foods especially grains and sugars. Seems like if I do these things I'll be well on my way.

Tomorrow: Back to solid food and exercise. I'm really looking forward to the marinated flank steak on greens with avocados (yum!).